Good bye is never the end

My mind's still processing the fact that I am an official high school graduate. It seems like just yesterday when I entered the portals of my Alma MAter, Colegio San Agustin - Binan. :| I want eveything to go back to that time. I want to repeat high school coz' it seem like the time I spent with my hs friends is not enough. I know I'll probably see them often but it won't be like before when we see each other everyday. :| Okay, I'm being dramatic, again. I'M SORRY. I can't help it. It feels like I'm going to face my college life alone. T.T My bestfriends won't be with me in DLSU and though I know some augustinians who are entering the same school as I am, I'm not that comfortable. Aww. :(

They say goodbye is not the ending, it is only the beginning of a new adventure. I guess I should believe that. I guess I should tell myself that I'll meet new friends when I'm in college, but that doesn't mean I'll forget about my hs friends. They will always be here in my heart no matter where I am. :) Mahal na mahal ko sila. :)

To the boy who made my senior life happy and cured me from all the bitterness I had with ****, thank you. :) Thank you for making me extremely happy. :) I love you, and yeah, I'll let you go. :) Wala naman kasi talagang pag-asa satin diba? And ARASO, fck you. Haha. He's all yours, if he wants to be. :))

Okay, I'm being a bitch, yet again. XD Got some good news! :D I received my grad gift!! :)) It's an HP lapatop! YAAAY. :)) I worked really hard for thic. Imagine, I gained a 93.08 gen. ave. for the firt time because I had this for an incentive. Cool right? XD :))))

I guess I need to stop typing. Haha. :D This blog is getting way longer than I expected it to be. :))

Keep those lips smiling. :))

Save me from this misery

I said it already. 

I told him I loved him. 

I didn't expect that much, but why am I still hurting? I expected us to remain friends, but he keeps on pushing me away. I never expected anything to change between us, but it still happened. I didn't expect him to love me back coz' I know that'll never happen. The main reason on why I told him is because I don't want to do what I did with ****. It was harder for me to let him go because I never told him I loved him. 

I guess it's his choice to make. It's his choice to ignore me. And I think he's even glad that we'll be graduating, then he won't see me again. 

I love him to bits, but I guess that isn't just enough to remain as friends. 

Maybe I should have shut my mouth. 

That way, everything will be okay. :| 

Oh God, save me from this misery. 

You insulted the very thing that I am proud of, moving on from my stupidity in loving you.

I am frustrated, seriously. Mad? NO. Frustrated, HELL YEA. There are six reasons on the whys. First, i'm freakin' pressured for tomorrow's results. I know I should be proud of whatever the results are but I just can't escape the fact that I may not gain that laptop. All those sleepless nights and cramming will lead to nothing once that number one spot goes to someone else. That's just the way it is. Err. :| Second, I keep on thinking about the recommendation in DLSU. I don't even know if they'll accept my plea to be transferred to BS Accountancy. I don't know what to put in that recommendation letter, that's why I keep dodging the time in making it. I don't know how to make the people in La Salle realize that I am worthy for that slot. I don't really know anything anymore, just the fact that I'm graduating in less than 10 days and I am going to a good school, not at all knowing my specific course. Third, I got into a fight with somebody. For me, it's not that serious but she's making it serious. :))) I didn't know a simple word like that can turn into a big fight like this. They say it's an insult, I say it's a code name for the person we (Carla and I) were referring to. I'm not fighting back. Do what you want and I won't care. I don't fight with someone for an immature reason. :) You know? It's simply ironic because someone told me that I was immature. Okay, I'll accept that. Maybe I did something wrong. But why fight immaturity with immaturity? Isn't that stupidity? Hoho. Think about it. :) Fourth, well it's part of the fight. The guy involved is the person I loved since like forever. Haha. And it's simply frustrating to hear that the reason I'm insulting her is because I am bitter about everything. It's an insult on my part because that's the only thing I'm proud of right now. I moved on from everything. The love subsided completely. And isn't it insulting to hear that statement? I feel that all I have fought for in the past few months of battling with the pain, just disappeared in a snap. C'mon dude, tell me every reason there is, but NEVER tell me it's because I still love you. It isn't that. I've already dealed with that. Fifth, that stupid wannabe is irritating. I thought he was smart? Why borrow my research work as a guide to his? :P Nice. Lemme remind you that you're the first person who said that you'll steal my ranking. Well, did it happen? Damn it. I may sound like a boastful person here but he's really irritating me. Why boast about something that you can't do? Very cool. :)) Sixth reason, I don't think I can tell him. I want him to know that I love him but I can't risk the fact that he may ignore me. :| Tell him or not to tell him? I'm freaking confused. 

I know it's a pretty long post, but I'm making up for the time I lost. :)))
I guess I need to stop typing. :) Hoho. 
Good luck and goodnight! :) ♥

Graduation Blues.

This sucks. 

This really sucks. 

I'll be graduating in less than a month and I'm not ready. I don't think I'm ready to face the college life. It sort of threatens me because I'll be studying in De La Salle University and that's a school who has very high standards. Haha. I'm doubting my own academic capabilities. BOO. I'm being so pessimistic. :P

I guess that's not the real reason on why I'm acting like this. I going to miss my friends and CSA too much. ♥ Call me emotional but that's what I feel. :| I don't want highschool to end because that means I'd be saying goodbye to the people who stuck with me through thick and thin. I know it's not really goodbye, coz' we'll still be seeing each other. But it won't be like now. If we're lucky, we'll see each other once every 3 weeks. :| Errrr. That makes me sad. Nasanay kasi ako na sila parati kasama ko. ♥ I'm really going to miss those times with them. :) 

Okay, I'm getting too emotional. 

The following is really disappointing so I guess you better stop reading.

I think I still have feelings for he-who-must-not-be-named. I don't know for sure but, I still get hurt whenever I see him with her. All I know is that my love for him was lessened but not completely lost. :| Err. I am really disappointed with myself. Kasi naman, kung kelan okay na ko, saka niya ko guguluhin. Bait mo dude.

And yeah, I am currently thinking about stuff. :) If I really love pare, if there's a reason to be jealous of GIRL and if I really am the kontrabida. :)) Coz' think about it, they have a past together, while we don't even have a present. XD I'm a loser whatever side you look at it. :P Hahahaha. 

I hang out with Kat too much. I'm degrading myself. Ugh. XD 

I guess I'll say goodbye. He didn't go online, and I miss him. :D 

Gusto mo ng lantaran? :) 

MAHAL NA MAHAL KO SI JRGDV. :P