Merry Christmas! :)

Merry Christmas hunnies! <3 I hope you spent the day with your family, friends, and of course, Jesus. :) We must not forget that this day is celebrated because of the birth of Jesus. One of the things that I learned in the nine morning masses I attended, is that Christmas is so commercialized. It's all about noche buena, giving and receiving of gifts, etc. We forget that we should spend the day honoring the coming of our savior, Jesus Christ. For example, only a few went to mass today. It's a fact because our chapel isn't even full and I'm assuming that a lot of you, readers, have not attended mass yet. Am I right? BIG MISTAKE. December 25 is a holiday of obligation, meaning that you should attend mass!


Anyway, I should stop with the religious paragraph. Haha. I enjoyed my Christmas day with the del Rosario Family. We attended mass, ate a lot, gave gifts and laughed along with the craziness of the family raffle. :) I got a lot of gifts because of the fact that I have 7 uncles and aunts. Hihi. :">


My birthday's on Monday and I'm kinda hurt because my 2 bestfriends aren't coming and my only guy bestfriend is going to be late. Good to know they value my birth day. :| I know I'm being bitchy about this but I was looking forward to spend my birthday with them.


I should probably stop typing because I got nothing to say. Merry Christmas again! :)

2nd term grades = EXTREME HAPPINESS

My Christmas is going to be a good one, most especially because of my grades this 2nd term! :) Look at it and tell me a single reason why I shouldn't be happy. :)) (Oh yeaaah, BUSORGA. :| ) Anyway, I got in the first honors dean's list, thus, making me enroll in advance next online enrollment! I love you God! I owe this all to you. 

Oh yeah, I recently completed the nine morning masses. :) Soooo happy. :D Any, I'm not in the mood to blog, soooo.. I'll just type the story I'm writing. Love you! 

Gimme horror!

Why hello again my website of useless rants. I've seriously missed you coz' I haven't been myself in the past few days. I visited Candy Mag yesterday, and I admit it, I missed hanging out in there. That was where I met my Bee, Bru and all the other girls that I now call friends. Although, it was depressing to see that my stories rotted in there. No one seemed to care anymore coz' I kept breaking promises on the updates. I now promised myself to finish everything before posting so as to avoid future disappointments. As we speak, I'm brainstorming ideas for a new story that I'm writing. However, this story is different. It is in the third-person point of view, and it is like a book when you read it. No more color-coded conversations and different points of view. I wanted to try something new and this is what I want. 

Moving on, I should be studying for my accounting midterms today but laziness got the better of me. I will fight this off later on. :)) I still desire to be a BSA major someday. :D And yeah, I wanted you to know that I will get my Dean's Lister certificate tomorrow at the Vice Dean's office! I shall cherish this because this might not happen again. :))) JK. 

K SHIT. I don't know what else to say. My life is as boring as it is. I don't have a guy to love, no friends to be mad at and definitely no family problems. Sometimes I wish that a problem may come so my life will be less boring. :| :| :| 

Before I forget, I suggest that you refrain from watching White House! It was a complete eyesore. O.o 

I gotta stop typing now. Waiting for the download of Shutter so I can watch a horror movie worth watching! 

Love you guys! :) 

30 things you MUST know about me. :)

READ THIS! <3

• 1.     I’m messy. If you could see my room, it always seems like a storm hit and messed it up. Nope, that’s not the case --- I did that mess all by myself.
• 2.     I studied in the US of A when I was in Kindergarten. White stockings and an awesome dress to school rocks! >:D<
• 3.     I used to think I was a good singer. I actually attended Center for Pop Music classes. Unfortunately, reality hit me and I finally realized that I made my listener’s ears bleed.
• 4.     I had my first crush in Kindergarten and I still remember his name and his face. Kevin Carrerra. :”>
• 5.     When I got back from the US of A, I didn’t know how to speak Filipino. I learned to speak the language again when I became a grade school student.
• 6.     I can’t count how many planes I’ve ridden.
• 7.     I am in love with horror movies but I easily get scared. I’m the type of girl who likes to close her eyes when she knows there is something scary that is about to happen, but opens it in the exact time the scary thing reveals itself. 
• 8.     I only have one crush at a time. And when I say I have a crush on you, that’ll last til’ you lose your face or you do something that will turn me off.
• 9.     I hate smokers but I have loved one and my bestfriend smokes. So this is kind of ironic.
• 10.  I won the title of 1^st runner up, Ms. Woodhills when I was in grade 4. I paraded around my subdivision, waving like a professional beauty queen. I swore that I will never do that again. It was totally embarrassing.
• 11.  I lived in Davao City for almost 3 years. I studied in Ateneo De Davao and it was awesome.
• 12.  Despite my long residency in Mindanao, I never learned the Visayan language.
• 13.  I’m afraid of the dark. I don’t sleep without a night light on. In the past, I couldn’t even sleep alone in my room. But when my sister moved to Katipunan, I was forced to deal with the fact that I was to sleep alone in that room. (with all the lights on)
• 14.  I was a “batang-kalye” when I was a child. I would play patintero, moro-moro, Chinese garter, and the like, in bare foot. I didn’t like wearing slippers, but when I acquired a worm in my stomach, I started to wear my slippers more often.
• 15.  I never imagined I would study in De La Salle University. I always believed that I would pass the UPCAT. But my intelligence failed me. :|
• 16.  I’m a nerd, but I’m so lazy when it comes to studying subjects I’m not interested in.
• 17.  I had a dream wherein I was placed in a coffin because I died (DUH), and I was watching my loved ones react to my death. (WEIRD KO)
• 18.  I used to finish my assignment quickly so I can watch Scooby Doo. (I was easily manipulated when it comes to Scooby Doo. :D)
• 19.  I cut class when I was in Grade 3. It was for a stupid reason, actually. I thought it was already lunch time, when in reality, it was only recess. When I finally realized I was wrong, classes had already started. I didn’t want my teacher to scold me so I roamed around the school, avoiding the guards. >:)
• 20.  I’m a PSYSC kid, and always will be. <3
• 21.  I’m the type of person who sacrifices for friends and exchanges her happiness for another person’s happiness.
• 22.  I believe in Hoes Over Bros. Friends before those useless boys. >:)
• 23.  I have never gone to the cemetery on the exact day of All Souls Day (Undas). There are a lot of people and I can’t handle that.
• 24.  I used to think a ghost lies down an empty space in a bed, so I always scatter my pillows so all the empty spaces will be covered. Scratch the I USED part. I still believe in this! Swear! :))
• 25.  I like to go biking, but some people won’t allow me to ride my bike because of safety reasons. :|
• 26.  I like to write stories but it bugs me when people read it. It makes me awkward because I know my writing is not that good.
• 27.  I like to watch teleseryes. I currently watch Survivor, Grazilda, Ilumina and Beauty Queen. In the past, I was very much addicted to Encantadia. :) <3
• 28.  I get easily irritated, I just don’t show it.
• 29.  When I have PMS, you’d wish you weren’t my friend. HAHA. MEAN. :)) >:)
• 30.  I was very bored so I did this, and because I love Bee. :)

Infatuation

I am the worst blogger known to man. I have been re-opening this site for the past few days and I still can't type anything. It's like I lost my ability to write about anything since ----- never mind. And the only reason I'm typing in this blank textbox is because I'm waiting for Episode 6 of The Vampire Diaries to load. This is the lowest of the low. :| If you could only see me right at this very moment, you can say that I look crazy. I'm looking around my vacant living room to think about what to tell you and nothing comes to my head. I've been thinking about things to write in this useless blog all week, and yet I still have not come up with one.This is so irritating. 


Oh, a random thought entered my mind. Why don't I tell you how stupid I've been when I was in high school? Okay, it's not in the context of academics, ayt? It's in the fact that I let myself love two guys that did nothing but use me for their own good. Okay, I know that's exaggerating, but as I think about it now, one word comes to my mind --- INFATUATION. 


Yea, one guy gained a three-year infatuation but the other one lasted for only about 8 months. I mean, why would I love them? I couldn't even think of reasons on why they sliced deep into my heart. :| 


So there were times when I thought I loved them. Lemme' give you a list. 


Boy 1 
> He managed to make me cry by the church and risk letting my 2 bestfriends and a classmate see. 
> He made me act like there was nothing wrong in front of him, when deep inside I was crying. I did it only because I didn't want him to think that I got hurt. 
> I hate smokers but when I learned that he was smoking, I let it pass. WTF?! 
> I only got jealous twice -- with different girls. His bestfriend and his current girlfriend. :| 
> I used to text him ILY when I get drunk. Stupid right?
> I have this feeling in my stomach whenever he's close. It's like I have a radar in my body. :|
> I used to wait for his text every millisecond of the second.
> I used to blog about him a lot ---- okay, until now. 
> Even though I hid him from my news feed, I tend to look at his profile everytime I go online. :| 
> I try and try and try and try to forget about him but I haven't succeeded in that. :| 


Boy 2
> He makes me cheer up with a simple HI. :) 
> When I see his name on my cellphone, I tend to jump and squeal in delight.
> He made me cry on this year's JS Prom. :> Don't ask why. 
> He always makes me feel so special. 
> I get jealous on all the girls that he is with. WEIRD. 
> Right now, we're texting each other. 


OKAYYY. As you can all see, Boy 1's side is mostly composed of all the pain that he inflicted upon me. HAHA. Don't blame him, I made this happen. Ako lang naman tong tanga na pinipilit ang hindi naman mangyayari. Yea, I blame myself for this. If  had been brave enough before, I could have been saved from the heartache. Boy 2, on the other hand, is full of happiness. And this only proved to me that I was only infatuated with Boy 2. Looak at all those sentences. Those are all what you feel when your crush texts you, right? This sucks bigtime. 


Any, I've been blabbering for that past few minutes. I think I should get back to the thing I was watching so I can sleep early! We're going to the province tomorrow! :> 


Happy birthday Patricia Domenique Briones Gumban! :> :> 


With Love, 

October Madness

Guess I haven't dropped by here in over a month now. I was busy with school and the like. Err, scratch that. I wasn't really busy, I just didn't have anything to write. My life's been boring ever since I became a college student. Yes, I've drank alcohol, cut class, and walked from Padre Faura to Vito Cruz. It's fun, but everyone knows I'm the type of girl who is too much of a good girl than  bad girl. Everything bad I did didn't amuse me. It's like I lost my fun bone in my body. Everything's screwed up coz' I don't know how to have some serious fun. Sometimes I wish I was in highschool again. The time when I didn't care if my grades were down or if having fun meant breaking the rules. I was careless back then and right now, I got a lot of questions in my head. "Will doing this mean that I won't be able to enter the BSA program?", "Will this affect my studies?" I know I sound like such a nerd but ughhhh, I feel like that right now. :|

SH1T. I NEED TO GET A LIFE.

So, It's October and I got a lot of people to greet. My brother, Anton, coz' he's celebrating his 8th birthday, Pat and Chat, my college friends, for their 17th and 16th birthday, respectively. :) And yeah, his birthday's also coming up and I'm still thinking if I should greet him or not. Haha. Sometimes, I wished my birthday was on this month so my birthday and Christmas gift wouldn't be the same. Hahaha. I sound so selfish. :)) 

My parents are here, so I gotta go. Cyber huuuug! :"> >:D< ♥

I died.

I died and he didn't care. It was my usual dream. This wasn't the first time that I saw myself lie in a coffin and watch people cry over my body. I know you may think I'm weird but the reason why I dream about this is because I think about it before I sleep. What if I die, will he cry? That was my usual question. And everytime I dreamt about that before, he didn't care. He would go to my wake but he would just smirk. Not once have I felt that he valued my life. This time, the dream was different. He came to my wake with his girlfriend in tow. Surprisingly, there were tears in his eyes. Tears that weren't just for a show. He neared my coffin and whispered, Akala ko ba di mo ko iiwanan? Sino na ang magmamahal sa akin ng walang hangganan? I love you, Reena. And I regret not telling you in person. Once he said that he let go of his girlfriend's hand and straightened up. Once he turned his back at the coffin, for a second, I thought he looked straight at my ghost. He winked and smiled. 


HAHAHAHAHAHA. CRAZY DREAM NO? :)) This all came right after I visited UST last Friday. I saw Cito, Reymarc, Rochelle, and Tari. :)) Cito looked like a stoner(JK), Rochelle became more beautiful, Tari grew taller and Reymarc, well his hair grew longer. I missed them and apparently, a single Friday isn't enough. I shall visit them again! :) 


Sh1t. I have loads to tell you but I need to sleep. :| I'm very sleepy naaa! :D 
Enjoy this post. I shall post a long one on Wednesday for I will study for Accounting and College Algebra tomorrow. 

To Rant or Not To Rant?

This is me, thinking of nothing to blog about. I mean, I've been like this for the past few months. Ganito pala nagagawa sayo ng walang lovelife no, wala kang malagay sa blog. Believe it or not, my life is generally peaceful. My friends, my family, my lovelife is stable. Though there are a few problems, it's not that big to rant about. But since I have nothing else to say, and for the sake of humoring you with my small scale problems, I'll type em' here. 


I don't know what to say to my bestfriend to cheer him up, or even just make him feel that this is not his karma. I feel like I'm a useless friend for letting him feel like crap about himself. We recently reconciled for our first major fight, but it seems like I've lost the ability to make him feel better. I always make him feel better. Even if it's his fault, I make him feel self-righteous, but right now, NOTHING. I have nothing to say to tell him that he doesn't deserve this and that he shouldn't torture himself over this. I know he keeps trying to keep a straight face and tell everyone that he's okay but I know deep inside that everything's screwed up. The girl says that they just need space and personally, I think she's right. But that doesn't mean that they shouldn't remain as friends. Mark loves her. I haven't seen him like this for a very long time and even though they aren't a couple right now, I believe that eventually, they will be. She's the only girl that I'm in favor for and I'm wishing---hoping that this would be fixed. That way, Mark will be happy again. And I can feel that I've helped in some way. 'Coz right now, I feel like a very crappy, useless bestfriend. 


Kat has dengue. I'm worried about her. She's got a load of problems on her head right now and with this comes her unexpected sickness. She's confined in a hospital and I'm problematic about when to visit because I can't find the time. I must find a way to visit her. At least if I see her, my worry would subside because I'll know that she's okay. :| Wow, I noticed, I'm very clingy with my friends. 


It's gone. My love for him is gone, and I'm not used to it. My whole high school life I believed that he was the one, that I cannot find anyone else. But here I am, wondering why I feel so empty. Once that feeling went away, I feel like there's something missing inside of me. Of course, not all the love is gone. There's some left, the amount of friendship. The love that is left is for the friendship and for the fact that I did love him, and we did have memories. Those memories will be locked up in my heart forever. 


I had the most BV day today. We just came from Subic and I slept around 11-ish? Well sadly, I woke up at 6am because no one was able to wake me up. (FYI, alarms don't work with me) I was able to leave the house around 6:15 and huraaah!, traffic started from Susana Heights. (BTW, I rode the Cher transport for the very first time) Anyway, I closed my eyes and just let the music from my phone fill my head. When we passed by the sucat area, we started smelling a foul smell, like a smoke coming from a unmaintained jeep. Once we step foot in Skyway, the bus overheated, thus stranding us in the middle of the sun's heat. We waited for a bus but every one of them was full, so we rode the bus-in-tow to Magallanes and waited for a bus there. Luckily, one came. (Another Cher Transport) Anyway, I was able to reach school around 10am. HAHA. I missed my Accounting class. THIS IS A FAILURE FOR ME. They discussed something and I wasn't there. Damn it, this is all my fault ---- and MMDA I might add. They're the people who declared this day a NO CODING day. Where they are under a stupid administration---peace out Homer Simpson supporters. Never liked him. 


Anyway, I must continue this tomorrow? I gotta go check on my brother if he's sleeping. :| TTFN. 


With much love, 

SABAAAW

Damn it. I haven't blogged about a lot of things. HAHAHA. This is the effect of being a college student. You've got loads of time, but you're sooooo TAMAD to type. HAHAHA. K, I'm so crazy. 


Anyway, I'm having loads of fun at school. I pass my exams, which is good because I want to shift to BS Accountancy! HAHA. I bond with my blockmates so I can have an equal amount of social life with my academics. LOL. Sh1t, sorry for the uselessness of this blog post. I'm so sabaw kasi e. HAHA. 


A girl randomly said thank you to me, which is weird. Haha. Maybe she's retarded or something. K, I'm so mean. >:) This is what she gets for not thinking for herself. And to think I called her once my friend. 


Sometimes I wonder if our friendship (Mark's and I) went back to normal. Hm, guess not. Nagbago na siya e. He's not the same Mark that I knew. Bahala na. At least we've patched things up. There just comes a time when everything falls apart and I have to deal with that. It's kind of easy naman e. 


K, random, I'M SO KILIG SA ENDLESS LOVE. HAHAHAHA. I'm so sabaw today so forgive me. LOL. 


I'll end your misery. I'll stop typing, promise. TTFN.

Pilyang Kerubin

Finally, after 13 days, we patched things up. He just needed a reason to open a conversation with me. This may sound negative but I gave up 3 friends but I gained our friendship again (Mark's and mine). I fought with 3 of my CLOSEST friends because of a dare. I knew I might hurt them with what I said, that's why I said sorry, but they didn't acknowledge it. Some say that they valued their image to others rather than our friendship. Well I just hope we can patch things up coz' I hate fighting with people. I'm still happy that that happened coz' without that fight, Mark and I won't be able to reconcile. :) Cool. 


I was so happy yesterday coz' I aced the graded recitation in FILKOMU. I studied really hard in that subject including COMP1BU for the long quiz. I was able to answer most of the questions. Hope I have a good grade. 


My classes don't start til' 2:40pm so I'll do my accounting homework tomorrow, once I buy worksheets.I'm dedicated to shifting to Bachelor of Science in Accountancy. Oha, complete~ :)) 


K, I don't know what else to say. :) Goodbye. 

The A-Team

You all must watch The A-Team! :D Personally, I can say I liked it a lot. :D Not only is Bradley Cooper shirtless all the time, but he's good in playing his character. :) It was full of suspense and action. Though I'm not all for that kind of movie, I still liked it. You will be amazed on how creative they plan out an ambush. :D 


I guess that's all I wanted to say. I want to watch Ninja Assassin on the comforts of my own home. :D I bought a DVD! :D HAHAHAHA. Pirated of course. :) Hoho. 


Brb. It's playing already! :) 

Friendship OVER.

Sorry for being sooo inactive these past few days. I've been busy with my college life. :)) So here, I'm present and will tell you everything that has happened! :) 


College life is surprisingly fun. Though the work load in school increased by a dozen times, I'm still enjoying it. I love my blockmates. I already consider them as my close friends. :) Masaya sila kasama e! :D Anyway, I won't elaborate on that fact since I'll only bore you. Lezz just say, I came home from Taft with alcohol in my system nung June 16. :) SHHHH lang. :D :)) But it was awesome! And it's a one time thing so don't expect me to drink all the time. :)) 


And yeah, FO na kami ni bestfriend. I got mad at him for smoking, he got mad at me for caring and tada! FO. :)) I said sorry but he didn't care at all. Bahala na siya, it's his choice. :)) Male ego is my enemy here, not him. He even told my friends, 'Di muna ako makikipagayos, nageenjoy pa ko e.' BITCH MUCH? I was torturing myself over the fact that we were fighting and he's enjoying it? WELL FU. :| 


Worst bus ride a while ago. I was seated between 5 guys. (Yung upuan sa back.) They kept asking me questions from 'Ano number mo?' to 'Miss, anong sexual position gusto mo?' SHIT DIBA? I will never ride BBL again. :| 


Anyway, I gotta watch langit sa piling mo! Byeeee! :) 

I'm a driver! :D

I am literally freaking out. Hahaha. Had my 2nd day of driving lessons today and I can say that I was quite progressive. My only problem is that I get nervous. Once I get inside that car, my heart starts beating fast. Haha. The instructor's laughing at me coz' my whole body would freeze while he's giving instructions on how to turn properly. EPIC. :D Wish me luck. Hoho. Plends, ako na ang desidnated driver, kung may kotse! :)) 


Aryt, mixed emotions these past few days. 5 days from now and I'll be going to school! I'm excited and nervous at the same time. Excited coz' I'll be able to see my blockmates again coz' they are awesooooome. Nervous coz' well~ of the professors. Hahaha. I'll tell you all about it right after my first day. :) 


I'm worried about my bestfriend. He's got a lot on his mind and I'm not there for him. Hm, the least I can do is use my sun sim and call to reassure him. :) Sana maayos na problema niya. :) 


Okay, I don't have anything else to say. I don't have a major problem and I'm happy about that! :D 


Goodbyeeee. :) 

HATE

I hate what I'm feeling right now. Seriously. 

I can't quite explain it coz' I don't want to admit it. No. I don't want to tell myself that I fought for nothing, that I moved on for nothing. It hurts to know that I'm still affected. I guess I deserve a big 'I told you so' from my friends. C'mon guys, lay it on me. Maybe it's just because I lost our friendship. I miss him, bigtime, but what can I do? He's smiling in the arms of another. 

Uhh. I really hate myself right now. Don't make me feel worse okay? I'm torturing myself over this and I hope no one teases me or anything. Arayt? I'm punishing myself already, that's enough. 

I hope I can forget you. Pleaaase. 

Stupid thoughts in my head

I don't know how or why but I ended up typing in my stupid blog. Err, I guess I have a lot on my mind but I'm not sure I should tell you all of it. I can't even tell my friends what's going on. I don't even know what's going on so why should I tell them, ayt? 

It's just that something's happening. It's the unthinkable, really. I don't know if it's real or I just want someone to replace---- err. Never mind. I guess this is nothing. I shouldn't make it a big deal. I'll just receive a big, 'i told you so' from my friends. Ha-ha. 

I'm actually stuck at my room with speakers programmed to the highest level of volume. I just want silence. I mean I want the music to block whatever I'm thinking right now. It's working coz' all I do is sing along with the music. You can also see my loss of focus with my blog right here. It doesn't make any sense, right? 

STUPID. STUPID. STUPID. 

Uhh ~ 

I'll stop. I might say something I'll regret later. 

Elections

The results of the Elections is stressing me out. Seriously. Though I'm not a voter, I'm really irritated by the results. 


All hail our new president, Noynoy Aquino. 


He won. Great. 
Hope he doesn't embarrass his father's name. 

The feeling is GONE

I am officially a student of De La Salle University - Manila. I posted my schedule on my facebook account, so if you're a close friend of mine, check it out! :) I had a fun enrollment day and I'm actually excited to go to school! :) Of course there is a hint of anxiety but the excitement overshadows it. HAHA. I guess this is the day I'm going to say that I'm ready to be a college student! 


Umm, I should tell you why I barely blog about my boring life. It's plain stupidity but I have to tell you. I don't feel anything, for both of them. It also surprised me coz' I thought it would take forever to move on. But there is the fact that no one believes me, even if I do tell the truth. Some proof that I've moved on? (1) I do not think of them anymore. They don't randomly enter my mind whenever I see something that reminds me of them. (2) I don't feel a thing whenever I go through C's letter or R's text messages. The cloud nine feeling is gone. (3) I wasted hours looking at their facebook profile, but still, the feeling wasn't there. It's like it disappeared before my eyes. (4) I do miss them. I cannot deny that, but I can say that I miss the friendship. Most especially C's. We were like best friends, and our friendship was destroyed once I loved him. MY friendship with R was different. And I guess, we're still friends. But there is this certain wall that I made, that blocks our way to understand each other. So to my friends that don't believe me, I miss them, and I do love them, but not like before. I love them as my friends and if you don't believe that now, you'll eventually do. :) 


So here's another dilemma, I DO NOT FREAKIN KNOW HOW TO ENJOY MY SUMMER! I can't go out with my friends coz' my parents think I have a boyfriend, and I don't have money! My family isn't proposing a vacation on some place coz' we're saving up for the house. I guess that is reasonable. Hmm, give me an awesome way to spend my summer, please? 


And yeah, I have to rant about this. I THINK NOYNOY'S GOING TO WIN. Err. :( Even though I don't want that to happen, I can't do anything about it. It's not like I can vote anyway. And what the F, random thought, sorry! :)) 


I've been thinking of changing my blog theme. I'm going to do it right after I type this random blog post. 


So, till next time then? 
Ta-ta. 

Summerrrrr

I'm sorry for not posting anything here for the past few days. I'm not busy, it's just that ----- there's nothing to tell. I don't feel hurt, I don't have a crush and I don't have anything to rant about. For the first time in my life, I don't have a problem. I'm happy ---- and it's a surprise for me. Coz' all this time I thought I would be happy if i'm in love, but it only brought me heartaches. So I guess without love, I am happy. Haha. :) I'm in the stage where I want to move on, and I am doing everything to accomplish it. I guess I don't want to see BOTH OF THEM for the mean time. It'll help me move on. SWEAR. :) Haha. I'm not bitter coz' what's there to be bitter about? I just hope after my love for them is gone, that we can still be friends. :D 


Enough of that drama. Anyway, I'm officially a Lasallian Frosh! :D Hahaha. :) I guess this is the real deal. I'm going to be a college student next month and I'm not sure if I'm ready. Well my parents and my sister think I'm still immature. So, nice encouragement huh? XD I guess I can do it! I just gotta believe in myself. :) 


My friends and I are going to Nuvali on Wednesday. I missed them and I'm glad that we're going to see each other this summer. :D I'm sad that Mark won't come with us. Miss ko na yung bestfriend ko na yun e. All summer he was asking me if we could go watch a movie or if we could go to Splash Island but unfortunately, I can't go. My parents aren't that much of a fan of Mark Fernan Tividad. :)) Ayaw nila na may lalaki akong bestfriend. ULOLS. 


I filled you in! :D I gotta stop typing coz' my laptop's worn out already. I've been using this all summer. :)) My parents barely see me out of my room. :)) HAHAHA. 


Imma watch tv now. :D Goodbyeeee! :) 

Randomness

Sorry for not posting. :| Been busy, and I've got nothing to blog about. Haha. Kahit ngayon, I'm clueless on what to put here.


Hm, for the first time in the history of blog posting, I have nothing to say about anything in my life right now. I'm happy, nothing hurts ~ or maybe I just got used to it. Haha. Tough to say. Medyo kasi, wala na akong pakialam. I don't care anymore. I don't know why but I ended up careless. Haha. Cool nga eh. I don't have to worry about anything. :) 


Well maybe I do. Hm, the results of my reconsideration for Accountancy in DLSU will be posted on April 16, and I'm freakin' nervous. What if I don't get in? :| Disappointment yun sa parents ko for sure. :| I better think positive. I CAN DO IT. :) HAHAHA. I sound crazy no? :D 


Hm, what if I tell you I'm over him? Would you believe me? :D Serious question, I want a serious answer. :D


Better go na. I've nothing else to say. 

it ended just like that

I'm tired, of everything. I'm tired of wasting my time, hoping for something to happen. Maybe I was wrong. I shouldn't have wished, hoped or dreamed that I had a chance with you. It's was stupid, I know. Here I am, the person to whom people refer, 'the smart one.', trying to stop the tears from falling because of her own stupidity. I made a mistake again. The same mistake I made when I loved he-who-must-not-be named. I thought I learned something when I moved on, but I guess, some things just don't change. I loved a person who loves someone else. WOW, BIG SURPRISE THERE. The only difference is that I told the second guy that I loved him. Maybe that makes a huge difference between them. The fact that I said those three words, it's different. 

I shouldn't be crying like this. EVERYONE told me that there was no hope from the start, but I didn't listen. He already dodged the topic of me liking him but still, I hoped for something. She already confessed that he told her he loves her, but still, deep inside me, I hoped, for something to happen. But once again, I made a huge mistake. One that'll change everything. 

My head aches. My freaking heart aches. 

Two heartbreaks in my highschool life. Boyfriends? Zero. 

Very cool, ayt? 

kthxbye. :|   

Good bye is never the end

My mind's still processing the fact that I am an official high school graduate. It seems like just yesterday when I entered the portals of my Alma MAter, Colegio San Agustin - Binan. :| I want eveything to go back to that time. I want to repeat high school coz' it seem like the time I spent with my hs friends is not enough. I know I'll probably see them often but it won't be like before when we see each other everyday. :| Okay, I'm being dramatic, again. I'M SORRY. I can't help it. It feels like I'm going to face my college life alone. T.T My bestfriends won't be with me in DLSU and though I know some augustinians who are entering the same school as I am, I'm not that comfortable. Aww. :(

They say goodbye is not the ending, it is only the beginning of a new adventure. I guess I should believe that. I guess I should tell myself that I'll meet new friends when I'm in college, but that doesn't mean I'll forget about my hs friends. They will always be here in my heart no matter where I am. :) Mahal na mahal ko sila. :)

To the boy who made my senior life happy and cured me from all the bitterness I had with ****, thank you. :) Thank you for making me extremely happy. :) I love you, and yeah, I'll let you go. :) Wala naman kasi talagang pag-asa satin diba? And ARASO, fck you. Haha. He's all yours, if he wants to be. :))

Okay, I'm being a bitch, yet again. XD Got some good news! :D I received my grad gift!! :)) It's an HP lapatop! YAAAY. :)) I worked really hard for thic. Imagine, I gained a 93.08 gen. ave. for the firt time because I had this for an incentive. Cool right? XD :))))

I guess I need to stop typing. Haha. :D This blog is getting way longer than I expected it to be. :))

Keep those lips smiling. :))

Save me from this misery

I said it already. 

I told him I loved him. 

I didn't expect that much, but why am I still hurting? I expected us to remain friends, but he keeps on pushing me away. I never expected anything to change between us, but it still happened. I didn't expect him to love me back coz' I know that'll never happen. The main reason on why I told him is because I don't want to do what I did with ****. It was harder for me to let him go because I never told him I loved him. 

I guess it's his choice to make. It's his choice to ignore me. And I think he's even glad that we'll be graduating, then he won't see me again. 

I love him to bits, but I guess that isn't just enough to remain as friends. 

Maybe I should have shut my mouth. 

That way, everything will be okay. :| 

Oh God, save me from this misery. 

You insulted the very thing that I am proud of, moving on from my stupidity in loving you.

I am frustrated, seriously. Mad? NO. Frustrated, HELL YEA. There are six reasons on the whys. First, i'm freakin' pressured for tomorrow's results. I know I should be proud of whatever the results are but I just can't escape the fact that I may not gain that laptop. All those sleepless nights and cramming will lead to nothing once that number one spot goes to someone else. That's just the way it is. Err. :| Second, I keep on thinking about the recommendation in DLSU. I don't even know if they'll accept my plea to be transferred to BS Accountancy. I don't know what to put in that recommendation letter, that's why I keep dodging the time in making it. I don't know how to make the people in La Salle realize that I am worthy for that slot. I don't really know anything anymore, just the fact that I'm graduating in less than 10 days and I am going to a good school, not at all knowing my specific course. Third, I got into a fight with somebody. For me, it's not that serious but she's making it serious. :))) I didn't know a simple word like that can turn into a big fight like this. They say it's an insult, I say it's a code name for the person we (Carla and I) were referring to. I'm not fighting back. Do what you want and I won't care. I don't fight with someone for an immature reason. :) You know? It's simply ironic because someone told me that I was immature. Okay, I'll accept that. Maybe I did something wrong. But why fight immaturity with immaturity? Isn't that stupidity? Hoho. Think about it. :) Fourth, well it's part of the fight. The guy involved is the person I loved since like forever. Haha. And it's simply frustrating to hear that the reason I'm insulting her is because I am bitter about everything. It's an insult on my part because that's the only thing I'm proud of right now. I moved on from everything. The love subsided completely. And isn't it insulting to hear that statement? I feel that all I have fought for in the past few months of battling with the pain, just disappeared in a snap. C'mon dude, tell me every reason there is, but NEVER tell me it's because I still love you. It isn't that. I've already dealed with that. Fifth, that stupid wannabe is irritating. I thought he was smart? Why borrow my research work as a guide to his? :P Nice. Lemme remind you that you're the first person who said that you'll steal my ranking. Well, did it happen? Damn it. I may sound like a boastful person here but he's really irritating me. Why boast about something that you can't do? Very cool. :)) Sixth reason, I don't think I can tell him. I want him to know that I love him but I can't risk the fact that he may ignore me. :| Tell him or not to tell him? I'm freaking confused. 

I know it's a pretty long post, but I'm making up for the time I lost. :)))
I guess I need to stop typing. :) Hoho. 
Good luck and goodnight! :) ♥

Graduation Blues.

This sucks. 

This really sucks. 

I'll be graduating in less than a month and I'm not ready. I don't think I'm ready to face the college life. It sort of threatens me because I'll be studying in De La Salle University and that's a school who has very high standards. Haha. I'm doubting my own academic capabilities. BOO. I'm being so pessimistic. :P

I guess that's not the real reason on why I'm acting like this. I going to miss my friends and CSA too much. ♥ Call me emotional but that's what I feel. :| I don't want highschool to end because that means I'd be saying goodbye to the people who stuck with me through thick and thin. I know it's not really goodbye, coz' we'll still be seeing each other. But it won't be like now. If we're lucky, we'll see each other once every 3 weeks. :| Errrr. That makes me sad. Nasanay kasi ako na sila parati kasama ko. ♥ I'm really going to miss those times with them. :) 

Okay, I'm getting too emotional. 

The following is really disappointing so I guess you better stop reading.

I think I still have feelings for he-who-must-not-be-named. I don't know for sure but, I still get hurt whenever I see him with her. All I know is that my love for him was lessened but not completely lost. :| Err. I am really disappointed with myself. Kasi naman, kung kelan okay na ko, saka niya ko guguluhin. Bait mo dude.

And yeah, I am currently thinking about stuff. :) If I really love pare, if there's a reason to be jealous of GIRL and if I really am the kontrabida. :)) Coz' think about it, they have a past together, while we don't even have a present. XD I'm a loser whatever side you look at it. :P Hahahaha. 

I hang out with Kat too much. I'm degrading myself. Ugh. XD 

I guess I'll say goodbye. He didn't go online, and I miss him. :D 

Gusto mo ng lantaran? :) 

MAHAL NA MAHAL KO SI JRGDV. :P  

I love him ♥

I am such a bad blogger. I haven't blogged about stuff since like FOREVER. :)) hahaha.

We had our Pasa Masid today. It was a simple graduation for the cadets and cadettes of CSA Binan. :) Fun fun fun. :D Finally, we've graduated from all the hardships of CAT. :)) Despite all that, I'm really going to miss those Friday meetings. :) Any, we also had our field Demo General rehearsal today. :)) It's depressing to know that when it's our turn to perform, our audience will be limited to those who really want to watch us. XDDD Lahat na nagexit. XD I guess that's okay, as long as he's still my partner right? :))) I actually taught him how to play nanay tatay. He's clueless with that kind of stuff. :)) :") I love hiiiim. :))) He makes me smile everytime I see him. Forgive me for being so cheesy. :) I just love this day. :D YAY! :D I don't mind the little mishap I experienced a while ago. :)) But I really need to tell you. Hahaha. Well, boy from the past went by our room. I heard his voice and my heart raced again. Well, maybe I just missed hearing his voice coz' we're currently not speaking to each other but that doesn't mean that I still love him. Promise. :)) 

Jane and I had an unforgettable experience yesterday. :)) NASABUGAN KAMI NG NAGLILIYAB NA BALLOONS. Scary but definitely memorable. :)) Loveyouuu jane. :D 


Imma stop na. :) I'm excited for tomorrow. Field demo practice, again. :")

Confusion.

I wanted to blog about everything that happened, but I didn't have the guts to do so. Maybe I just can't explain it. :| 

The prom was fun. I mean, I was the most memorable night of my life. I thank those who took the time to dance with me. All of you made my night special. ♥ I especially want to thank Reymarc for being my partner. Kahit biglaan, dapat si Hamtig e. :)) Thank you for making me smile. :P :* 

Btw, to all that made a bet with me, YOU WIN. He did dance with me. According to Mark, hinanap pa daw niya ako. And when Mark told me that, SURPRISE!, wala na sa akin. Maybe the feeling was gone. ♥

Maybe I should still be happy. Nakasayaw ko pa naman siya e. His polo was violet and my gown was violet. :) We had the same color, it was like a set-up. :)) He let me borrow his coat coz' I was freezing in there, but I guess these little things don't result to a chance of him loving me. First and last niya nga si GIRL e. The one who's mad at me because I keep on nearing him. I guess, I really am the kontrabida. 

I'm not in the mood to tell you more. I suppose this is enough. 

KBYE.  

I don't matter

I have good news and bad news! Which one do you want to hear first? 

I guess the bad news first. Uh ~ my grades went down down down down. XDDD Let's just say I'm disappointed with my grades despite the fact that my general average went .06 points up. I just feel like I haven't worked hard enough. Grr. :| 

Good news is, I'm still the 1st honor in our class! :) That means, I still have a chance to get a laptop! One more quarter to go --- I promise I'll work hard for it. And yeah, another good news, he made it to the 2nd honor. :)) Oh yeaaaa~ our names will meet on the top ten list. Haha. 

Kaya bumababa grades ko e, puro lalaki nasa isip ko.♥

I guess I'd have to stop. I don't have anything else to write. :)) 

P.S. I saw Cesar Apolinario today. He was a guest speaker in the seminar I attended. Haha. 

Disappointment

I have been a bad girl, so sue me. 

Let's just say, there's this guy who you like, and there's even a possibility that you'll fall in love with him. Of course you'll do anything to make him notice right? You'll do anything to befriend him and become close to him. But what if another person takes it the wrong way? What if they get mad at you because you keep on nearing this certain person. And that girl tells all her friends that you're implying that the guy likes you too ~ won't you get pissed off? I mean, I'd understand if your his girlfriend or something but, honestly, wala naman diba? It just irritates me. Since I heard about that rumor, I feel like I'm such a flirt. I feel like I've done something wrong and I don't deserve to fall in love. Oh c'mon, that was simply below the belt. I CAN'T EVEN GO NEAR HIM NOW. Because of YOU. I keep thinking, may magagalit, wag kang lalapit. Damn it. Feeling ko tuloy may restraining order na ko. Arg.  

Anyway, that wasn't the only thing that ruined my day. Let's hide girl and boy's name with Jojo ang Joja. :)) I kept on seeing Jojo and Joja hanging out. :)) I mean, were they really annoying me? Dismissal came and I saw them again. I even sat far away from them but Joja kept on looking my way. She looked like she won some lottery or something. C'mon, if you want some senior year romance, wag niyo na ko idamay ha? My life's peaceful already without you two. I swear. And please, Jojo ~ don't make me hope for nothing again. 

Okay, I better stop blabbering about this. It's making me sick on the inside. 

Distribution of report cards tomorrow. I'll blog about the results as soon as I get home. :) 

Kthxbye.