Infatuation

I am the worst blogger known to man. I have been re-opening this site for the past few days and I still can't type anything. It's like I lost my ability to write about anything since ----- never mind. And the only reason I'm typing in this blank textbox is because I'm waiting for Episode 6 of The Vampire Diaries to load. This is the lowest of the low. :| If you could only see me right at this very moment, you can say that I look crazy. I'm looking around my vacant living room to think about what to tell you and nothing comes to my head. I've been thinking about things to write in this useless blog all week, and yet I still have not come up with one.This is so irritating. 


Oh, a random thought entered my mind. Why don't I tell you how stupid I've been when I was in high school? Okay, it's not in the context of academics, ayt? It's in the fact that I let myself love two guys that did nothing but use me for their own good. Okay, I know that's exaggerating, but as I think about it now, one word comes to my mind --- INFATUATION. 


Yea, one guy gained a three-year infatuation but the other one lasted for only about 8 months. I mean, why would I love them? I couldn't even think of reasons on why they sliced deep into my heart. :| 


So there were times when I thought I loved them. Lemme' give you a list. 


Boy 1 
> He managed to make me cry by the church and risk letting my 2 bestfriends and a classmate see. 
> He made me act like there was nothing wrong in front of him, when deep inside I was crying. I did it only because I didn't want him to think that I got hurt. 
> I hate smokers but when I learned that he was smoking, I let it pass. WTF?! 
> I only got jealous twice -- with different girls. His bestfriend and his current girlfriend. :| 
> I used to text him ILY when I get drunk. Stupid right?
> I have this feeling in my stomach whenever he's close. It's like I have a radar in my body. :|
> I used to wait for his text every millisecond of the second.
> I used to blog about him a lot ---- okay, until now. 
> Even though I hid him from my news feed, I tend to look at his profile everytime I go online. :| 
> I try and try and try and try to forget about him but I haven't succeeded in that. :| 


Boy 2
> He makes me cheer up with a simple HI. :) 
> When I see his name on my cellphone, I tend to jump and squeal in delight.
> He made me cry on this year's JS Prom. :> Don't ask why. 
> He always makes me feel so special. 
> I get jealous on all the girls that he is with. WEIRD. 
> Right now, we're texting each other. 


OKAYYY. As you can all see, Boy 1's side is mostly composed of all the pain that he inflicted upon me. HAHA. Don't blame him, I made this happen. Ako lang naman tong tanga na pinipilit ang hindi naman mangyayari. Yea, I blame myself for this. If  had been brave enough before, I could have been saved from the heartache. Boy 2, on the other hand, is full of happiness. And this only proved to me that I was only infatuated with Boy 2. Looak at all those sentences. Those are all what you feel when your crush texts you, right? This sucks bigtime. 


Any, I've been blabbering for that past few minutes. I think I should get back to the thing I was watching so I can sleep early! We're going to the province tomorrow! :> 


Happy birthday Patricia Domenique Briones Gumban! :> :> 


With Love,