University of the Philippines, I bid goodbye. T.T

It made me cry, honestly. I really thought I had a chance on UP, but unfortunately, there was none. I didn't know it would be this depressing. I feel so stupid coz' I didn't even pass that stupid exam. Ugh. I cried coz' I couldn't accept the fact that I will never be one of the fighting maroons. Siguro, magiging Green Archer na lang ako. It's not my dream school, but I guess it'll do. Pinipilit nga ako ng tatay ko e. Gandahan ko daw scores ko sa DLSU para makatransfer ako sa UPD. How I wish that works out. I really want to be in Diliman. Quality education kasi, but I guess I have to deal with DLSU, even though accounting's not my course there, I guess I'll just shift courses or ask for reconsideration. Ugh, tears won't stop falling. I'm trying to look strong for everybody but somehow, I just want to release these tears of mine. Siguro nga, UP just isn't meant for me. :| 

I guess I have to stop typing. You know what, the only thing that cheered me up today was when I saw him. :)) I guess, this feeling I have for him is something. :)) 


 

Shitty things

I AM IN A WAY, PISSED OFF. I know I'm not the kind of person who gets easily pissed off when it comes to taunts and teases, but this time, I can't take it anymore. It's not that it isn't true or that I'm not used to being teased, yet it's the fact that he and I are having some awkward moments because of that. Since that happened, he wouldn't even look me in the eye and ask me what's the equation for that stupid math problem. I knew that because I was the nearest person to ask but he kept on asking people who were beyond the boundaries of hearing. :| In a way, he's kinda avoiding the teases of my classmates, so that results to him avoiding me. I want us to be friends. I don't want any awkwardness between us. I want to return to those times when we just ask each other some academic related things and when we just had a special connection between us. But due to the circumstances, that will never happen. 

And another thing, I REALLY DO WANT HIM TO BE MY PROM PARTNER, but I want him to take me in his own will. I don't like when the others force him because he's the kind of person who's a gentleman. He'd say yes to even the ugliest girl in the world. :| I thank my friends for trying to help but somehow, it's much more sweeter if he himself asks me. I know it's impossible but, at least I know that US can never happen, right? Ugh ~ I am making such a big deal out of this. :| 

Any, I have something to tell you. THIS IS GOING TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. :)) Lalo na friends ko. :) My love for him has lessened. Yeah, I have proven that. When I still loved him so much, whatever he does, even if it's wrong, I always tell him that he's right. I always believe him even though my friends tell me that he's lying. I always trash his enemies even though he's at the wrong side. I was surprised with myself when the word boastful and insensitive came to my mind once a friend of mine told me a band-related story. I won't name names, but dammit, I started asking myself, "Why did I fall in love with such a boastful loser? Why did I fall for a person who thinks he's the most handsome man in the world?" I was irritated, seriously. I thought it would be nice to be a friend of that guy, but that was nonsense. Tss. I'm not saying this because I'm bitter, siguro nabuksan lang talaga mata ko sa katotohanan.

I should stop blabbering about my lovelife. I know how irritating it is. Haha. :)) So I gotta say goodbye. :)) 

P.S. MISS NA KITA SYOTAAA! :)) LY. :) 

My Joys and frustrations.

Imiss you, Maria Jemil Agustin Napay! :)) Good luck sa Cebu! Kaya niyo yan! :D Uwian mo kami ng pasalubong at sigurado, madami kaming kwento pagbalik mo! :)) Gusto mo ako tumingin ng UPCAT results mo? Ingat sa biyahe tomorrow, ah? :)

Okay, so the real blog begins. I've learned a valuable lesson these past few days. If you want others to understand you, you should learn how to understand them too. This taught me that we can't be selfish. We can always say that others simply misunderstand us. Did we try to understand them even once? It's only a matter of communication with your friends. It's kinda stupid to reason misunderstanding. If you want them to understand, make them. Don't make them formulate guesses of their own. Ayt? :) I hope this taught you something. :) I know it has for me. :) 

And yeah, lemme share you my experience just yesterday. Well, I was doing our research powerpoint while waiting for my other members. 10pm ~ they still hadn't shown up. I was pissed off coz' one, member a was too busy crying over her boyfriend. Okaaaay, I know, you have problem that needs to be fixed but when it comes to my academics, studies go first then love. She kept on ranting about her boyfriend. So maybe I may seem insensitive but it was out of the line. She hadn't done anything for our project. She's the kind of person who relies on somebody else for their grade. C'mon, napakabait ko na ngang leader e. But what happened? They abused my kindness. Psh. Member B, let's just say she was the only girl who pmed me for our research project, only to ask, anong gagawin bukas? I mean, I was waiting for, "anong maitutulong ko?" but in never came. She has the same attitude as of Member A. These are the same girls who ditched me during our Chapter 2 Oral Defense. Well, screw you both. I'm getting frustrated with myself because I keep on giving you a chance but you keep on blowing it. :| And yeah, lemme tell you something. I stayed up til 2am for that fckin powerpoint while you lie on your bed, dreaming about your boyfriend. I mean, don' you even care for this project, at all? Don't you even care that a person needed your help yet you never responded? I loathe you both. Kung pwede nga lang kayong tanggalin sa grupo, gagawin ko na eh. You keep on owning up for what I did. Oh, I promise, I will make you wish that you should have never messed with me. Jacka$$es. 

Anyway, I gotta cool down. Maybe I really lack of sleep so that's why I keep on showing my bad side. I swear, I'm really kind to others, but if you piss me off, you wouldn't recognize me. Haha. :)) Okay, enough on the bag things. Let's move on to the good things that happened! :)) He's my designated partner for the entourage. Okay, so maybe my friends just talked him into it, and I'm not even sure he likes it, but I'm still glad that he'd be the first one I'd see on my prom night. :) It's my last and I want it to be special. :) I know it's just a crush but I feel so happy when I'm around him. I forget all the pain I felt when I was loving this dufus named dufus. XDDD And to tell you the truth, the pain's gone. I keep on looking at his facebook page, waiting for the pain to come but it isn't there anymore. It's as if it has never existed. I also viewed his picture with a girl, who I was so jealous of before. Once again, there wasn't any pain. I just kept thinking, ang tagal naman magonline ni ~~~ . I don't know. I consider this a huge achievement for me. Finally, I succeeded on moving on from the one person I loved for the past years. I won't say it was a waste because without that, I wouldn't have learned to be this strong and matured. And for that, I thank him. :) 

So, enough drama. I am such a blabbermouth. Haha. :)) I'll blog again tomorrow and the next day and the next day, and the next day ~ oh you get the picture. :) 

I badly need to sleep. :P 

Goodnight guys. Sweet dreams. :)

My own stupidity. XD

 

I AM CURRENTLY ADDICTED TO THE VAMPIRE DIARIES SERIES. Okay, so maybe the events in the episodes don't match what's in their books, but they absolutely got my interest! :)) It scary sometimes and I love that kind of show. Haha. It doesn't focus on vampires ~ unlike some shows ~ it focuses on mystery and love. :)) I insist that you watch it! :)) 

So, moving on.. Uh ~ it's school again tomorrow. :) I'm kinda excited coz' I'll see my classmates again. As I've said before, I'm cherishing every moment I have with them. In less than 3 months, we'll be parting ways. Ugh. And yeah, I've got rants about that stupid research project. I mean, the oral defense is due on the last week of january and I haven't even started on the fourth chapter! Ugh, this subject really stresses me out. I guess I have to be strive harder if I want that laptop. O.o OMG, I AM SUCH A GEEK. 

Oh, Hue Turn had an audition today, together with the band of Cito. I wish them the best. :) Sana makapasok sila. :) And yeah, everything's back to normal again. :) I've decided that the more I forget him, the more everything comes back to me. So, I'll still love him but this time, someone else is stealing my love and affection. Yeah, siya yun. You may think I'm using him for a rebound but it isn't. :) I like some things about him that I haven't seen with th other guy. So, make your opinions coz' when it comes to him, I only listen to the truth, not what people want me to believe. :) 

I guess I have to stop typing useless things. My sister's waiting eh. She needs to use the computer. :)) Probably to stare at someone's profile again. Kidding! :))

I miss my syota/hersheys! :))) Wala na naman siya tomorrow. :| Good luck sa Cebu Syota!:))

Loveyo. :)

 

FRIENDS = LOVE! :))

I just wanna share some pictures. :)) 
It was the first time since last christmas that we were complete. :) 
We miss you Mariel! :) 

New Year po yan. :)) 

CRAP.

Crap. That's right, I feel like effing crap. :)) It was pure stupidity to believe that something was definitely going on between us. Yeah, I think he's even keeping his distance. Uh ~ reason why? Mark told him -- scratch that, SHOUTED to the whole class that I'm in love with him. Yeah, that was embarassing, but the worst part of it is that he's ignoring me. Ugh. Why am I making such a big deal out of this?! :| Okay, I'll shut up. 


I don't know what else to say. Uh ~ did I tell you that I gave samson a retreat letter? It was like an I love you goodbye type of speech. hahaha. I guess I grew tired of the game we --- I was playing. :)) 


Gaa, I can't put off my nerves. I keep on dreaming about waiting for the results of the UPCAT. Like waiting for it while I'm awake is not enough! GAAAHD. It just irritates me coz' I need to wait for it for one more month. BLAAA. I DO NOT WANT TO GO TO DLSU. It's not the school, it's the people who got accepted. OKAAAY, bitter much?! :)) 


I hope pare and I get over all this evasiveness. I can't stand it if we're not speaking to each other. That kinda uh ~ depresses me. 


GUYS, LEMME REMIND YOU, HOES OVER BROS. 
Friends muna bago lalaki? Kay? :) 


Byeow. :))

SHITTYNESS :))))

I am the world's worst blogger. :)))) It's been a long time since I've written here and it disappoints me. Haha. I'll make it up to you. Haha. :)) I already back in school. Haha. And honestly, I'm making the most out of it. I simply can't escape the fact that in less than three months, my highschool life is over. I can't imagine my life without meeting my highschool friends and deep inside, I don't want to forget about them in the future. I want them to be my friends until I take my last breath. :)))) Okay, this is dramatic. Hahaha. Anyway, my year started well. Especially my first day back at school, once he entered, I felt my heart beating slower and faster at the same time. Haha. I don't even know if I'm falling for him because he's himself or I'm falling for him because I want to forget about the skater dood. :)) All I know is that I'm falling in love with him ~ no matter what the reason is. :) 

O yea, I have good news and bad news. Uh~ good news is I passed the DLSUCET, bad news is I didn't get in to the accountancy department. Haha. Another bad news? Skater dood passed the exam. Haha. And when I thought I could forget him once I'm in college, hahaha. Damn, I'm waiting for the UPCAT results. If I pass that, then I'll be far away from him. :))) Okay, bitter much? :))) 

I'll continue this later. Apparently, my dad's trying to get into cyberspace. :)) TTFN. :)))